Chuck Norris was here!

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.