Delicious cake

Chuck Norris was here!

“I didn’t grow up in the ocean — as a matter of fact — near the ocean — I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean. And I particularly like it when I’m fishing.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2008

“I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26, 2008

“The German asparagus are fabulous.” –George W. Bush, Meseberg, Germany, June 11, 2008

“We’ve got a lot of relations with countries in our neighborhood.” –George W. Bush, Kranj, Slovenia, June 10, 2008

“Let’s make sure that there is certainty during uncertain times in our economy.” — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 2, 2008

“We want people owning their home — we want people owning a businesses.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

“I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be — hold hands.” –George W. Bush, on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process, Washington, D.C., Jan. 4, 2008

“In other words, I don’t think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family.” -George W. Bush, on smallpox vaccinations, Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002

“You believe in the Almighty, and I believe in the Almighty. That’s why we’ll be great partners.” -George W. Bush, to Turkish Prime Minister Recap Tayyip Erdogan, Washington, D.C. Dec. 10, 2002

George Bush is funny!

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.